Cheer Me Up :(

Hi. I don't wanna make a bad impression of my start, but still, i'm not in a good mood to be cheesy.

i'm broken :( and that's why. Okay. Here's the thing. Maybe i'm not the best girl you could find. I easily break down. i'm forgetful. I do shameful things all the entire time. Even i could imagine myself being scolded by everybody because of my clumsiness. In conclusion, i'm not really a good girl.
And you've KNOWN that. But you can't accept that. I know. i've always known.

I wonder why do we fight too often. I wonder what will happen to both of us later tomorrow. Cos you're not mine, and i'm OFFICIALLY not yours. So who knows when will you leave me with this lovedust buried inside me? A love created incredibly just for you? Yes you. Nothing for others. Can you just realize it? That i, Agatha Tara Indira-a girl who shouted her 'sumpah serapah' thingy few years ago, for whom had been hurt by her bf of his gf, a girl who DID NOT believe in any of love game-now has been weakened by your love? Can you please just...oh. I ran out of words.

it's just i don't know why do i always look so effing dumb in front of you. I did stupid things. I spoke stupid words. I acted so much worse that i could've ever imagined i would. I...i'm too weak in front of you. That's why i've shown you all of my weaknesses in front of you (which i thought you would understand me and said 'it's okay', but the fact you didn't).

Hey :) You know what? Everytime when you were angry to me, i've always been feeling so much guilty. You don't know what does it feel when i cried because i regretted what i've done so far. Cos from what i know, it's me who has always been wrong. No,no, i'm not saying that you told me that i'm wrong. It's me. i'm the one who felt it. That i'm a badass. A girl who's making your life miserable with all my grumpy characters.

But here. One thing. I really strived hard to change. And it seemed that you didn't care. Correct me if i'm wrong :( but i've always been feeling so bad that you actually did not realize what was changing day by day. Even me, i realize that those changes happened inside me. Maybe not so much different, but there ARE changes :( sigh. I don't know what to say. It's just i love you and i hope you'll realize it. Someday. That you were my first love. And forever will be my first love. Even though that later i might be marrying someone else, it's you who taught me the meaning of true love.

Always, and forever. You're the first one in my heart. Forever will be my first love
I love you, and i'm sorry for being a bad girl recently.


Sorry,

Agatha Tara ♥