My heart only beats faster if it's because of you, i promise, no other cud do that.

First of all, my radio, my very very anciently old radio, multifunctional radio, my sweet lovely radio, has gone dead. What the. I obviously need someone to repair it for me soon. I'm gonna die living without my radio. Aw. Those are really unimportant for you i guess. But for me, my radio is everyting. Second everything. Cos he is my first everything. Lol.

Okay does my first paragraph shown an excitement? Or happiness? Or joy? Ur wrong. Again. Haha.

Oya before i continue to anything else, i wanna say thanks to Vera! My first routine reader of my blog. Aww. Thanks Vera!

So today u can consider me for not having a break at all. Woke up at 6.40. School at 7.30-3.00. Badminton audition 3.00-5.45. Vocal lesson 6.00-6.30. Study physics for about another one hour from
7.30-8.40. I'm really tired. And my heart. It hurts.

If you wanna know why. I'm really really extremely tired today. My energy has leaked bcos of all of those activities. I even can't raise my arms. Yeah. Both my arms :'(
Situation has forced me to use all my remaining energy which is stored inside my body. And i was expecting more from you. I know sometimes i expect too much. And too deep. But everybody needs love. Don't we? Yeah it's just..these past months i've been actually thinking continuously about these; why do you have to take good care of me when you've known that you're going to leave me? And why do i survive till dis day? Why shud i know you from that really beginning? And many more whys. And a little more amount of those thoughts, i think i'll be dead rite away.

I'm childish, i knew it. I'm spoiled, i knew it. But i don't need excessive love? I don't think i agree. Ppl need love. Sumtimes they expect more than the usual love they had received. And that's what exactly happening to me rite now. Haha. Now you've known the other side of me. The bad one. The need-more-love-and-care side.

But unnfortunately the person i expected to do that wasn't able to meet my expectation. Saya egois. Saya tau! Sumpah deh saya tau. And my main aim of writing this is to share. All people have their own ego and bad stuffs inside them. Whichhhh cud burst anytime. No wonder that rumah sakit jiwa are somehow so popular. Cos they provide better services of love and care for those mentally unhealthy ppl.

What i'm going to say yah? i just..want you to know that i love you so much that it sometimes hurts. You have to know me well. I'm a brat. A spoiled brat. Aku sangat sangat manja. Dan aku sangat sangat berusaha buat TIDAK manja. But it seems so hard. Believe me i tried. But sometimes i really need ur attention towards me.

I...I love you. And that's all i know.


Smoochies,
Agatha Tara